“The Secret of a Healthy Dad”

In commemoration of Father’s Day, I’m wondering if these thoughts are interesting and helpful to you as a dad, or with thinking about family life in general...


“The Secret of a Healthy Dad” by Rick Ezell

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children" (Ephesians 6:4 TNIV).

Recently I read of a young man who received an unusual Christmas present. The young boy peeled back the layers of wrapping paper from the tiny box inside he found a small, hand-written note from his father. "Son," it read, "this year I will give you 365 hours, an hour every day after dinner."

"This simple present became the greatest gift I ever had in my life," explained the boy as an adult. "My dad not only kept his promise, but every year he renewed it. I am the result of his time." One hour after dinner is all it took to change this boy's life forever. One hour of leading, loving, and learning. It is such a simple idea, an obvious one.

Directing our children by making ourselves available provides a solid foundation and a cherished place to belong. Children who know they belong to a family and have a father that spends time with them have a decreased need to adopt the values and behaviours of others. As a result of that leadership, children are more resistant to peer pressure in the adolescent years, which reduces the risk of promiscuity, substance abuse, and suicide.

Time for our family is like oxygen to our bodies--there's a minimum necessary for survival. And it takes quantity as well as quality to develop warm and caring relationships. What can Dads do?

Pray about your priorities. Ask God to help you order your life according to his priorities. Corporations in this country and workaholic Dads need to be reminded about what our priorities should be. Should Christian Dads and employees abandon the search for excellence? Not at all. But we do need to get our priorities in order.

Think through your promotions. Often promotions come with a corresponding increase in workload and hours. Is it worth it?

Consider changing jobs. No job is worth sacrificing your spouse or children. No career is more important than your relationship with those you love.

Stop gift-wrapping the garbage. Or anything else that drives you to perfection and sacrifices valuable time with your family. As I was mowing my yard the other day, I thought, "Do I want to be remembered for having a beautiful lawn or having a wonderful family?"

Monitor your level of involvement in organized activities. Granted--sports, music, and educational programs are needed for our children to lead balanced lives. But there is a point of overkill and over involvement.

Commit to regular family times together. Schedule regular family nights or family outings. Guard those times as you would any other appointment.

Slow down and live. For many of us the pace of our lives is self-imposed. We do have a choice about what we do and the schedule we keep. A friend whose family was so infatuated with time that he could rarely enjoy a quiet moment of reflection said, "My Dad was an expert at hurrying. And he inflicted it on our family. We would hurry to go on vacation, hurry to enjoy it, and hurry to drive home, so we could hurry on to something else!"

The lack of time might be the most pervasive enemy the healthy family has. To be honest, I don't know many families that aren't over committed. To change that behaviour in my family is my responsibility as the father. Spending time together as a family is doing God's will. Time spent with our family is each family member's birthright-and for most they are starving for it.

When former Atlanta Braves' star outfield, Dale Murphy, was asked what contribution his dad made to his career he replied, "The great thing my dad provided me was himself."

Not a bad contribution, is it?

Source: Rick Ezell’s “One Minute Uplift” e-newsletter, June 14, 2007 ... www.rickezell.net