Remembering Jeff Wierdsma

It's hard to believe, but it's been almost six months since we lost our dear friend Jeff.

Stories and reflections about Jeff (and the grief process) are still welcome -- see www.jeffwierdsma.blogspot.com to find out more.

Remembering Ted Vellenga

Every New Year's Eve service, we at the First Christian Reformed Church of Orillia, Ontario, Canada take a moment to reflect on the lives of those who have joined us, and those who have left us.

We lit two candles for Ted: a green one, for when he joined us, and a gold one, to acknowledge his passing.

(Blue candles = new members by birth; green candles = new members who transferred-in; red candles = (former) members who left by way of resignations and transfer-out; white candle = new member by profession of faith).

The other gold candle was for Rudy Huften, a charter member who passed away on December 12.

Quantity/Quality of Prayer --- Wondering Out Loud...Sunday, January 6, 2008

(from the bulletin of the First Christian Reformed Church of Orillia, ON)

Happy new year! To follow-up on my New Year’s Eve message, I’d like to ask you: how have you resolved to connect with God more this year? The quantity of prayer is important, but the quality of our prayers is, too...in this article Pastor Rick Ezell helps us to discern the difference:

"My heart says of you, 'Seek his face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek" (Psalm 27:8 NIV).

Have you heard people pray? The next time someone prays, listen closely to his or her words. Keep track of what they say. Or better yet, consider what your are saying in your prayers. See how often you pray for God's blessings, God's protection, God's healing, God's providence, God's power, and God's help. Then, see how often you praise God for his presence, his glory, his character, and his nature.

You see, the first type of prayer is, in biblical terminology, a prayer for God's hand. The second type is a prayer for God's face. When we seek God's hand, we are asking for what God can do for us. When we seek God's face, we are requesting his presence. Check out most hymns and most praise songs. Generally speaking, most hymns are primarily songs sung about God, while praise songs are sung to God. See the difference.

Pray like the Psalmist prayed: "Your face, Lord, I will seek" (Psalm 27:8 NIV). Not his hand, but his face. Let's not always seek what God can do for us, but seek God --- his presence, his person. See the difference.

When I seek God's face, I seek God. I seek a relationship with him alone. I know that if all I had was a relationship with God through his Son, Jesus, that would be enough. Regardless of prosperity, power, or prestige, I would have his presence and that would be enough.
Baptist pastor Peter Lord said, "If we only seek God for what he can do for us, rather than seeking him for him, we are spiritual idolaters."

Today, I will seek God's face, his presence. And, that will be enough.

(From Rick Ezell’s One Minute Uplift, October 10, 2007...www.rickezell.net)

Twenty Years of Gratitude - September 13, 1987-2007

Sunday, September 13, 1987. Around that time, Pete Schuurman and I were starting what we expected to be our final year of high school. On the afternoon of that date, we had just wrapped up a youth group leaders' retreat at my parents' cottage.

Later on, we were sick of packing and cleaning. So, the two of us decided to go for a drive. On an uphill curve in the gravel road, I applied the brakes too hard, locked them, "gravel-planed" ...and the car went airborne and slammed into (and through) the forest at around 60-80 km/h (40-50 mph).

The vast majority of the trees were small softwoods, which cushioned a lot of the impact. According to the police, had the car entered the forest just a few inches to the right or left one or both of us would have been dead on the scene -- from a hydro pole on the right, or the large hardwoods on the left just inside the forest edge.

We ended up about 20 or 30 metres/yards inside the forest. We're grateful that the property owner heard the crash, called 911, and arranged for help to arrive within minutes.

Pete and I were transported to a hospital in Lindsay (about 1/2 hour south). My dad picked me up at the hospital late that night. We very, _veeery_ quietly returned to the cottage to pick up my (and Pete's) belongings. Accidentally running over a family of raccoons on the blind side of a hill along the way sure didn't help either. >: P

Despite my severe concussion and other trauma at the time, I remember Dad asking me moments after he locked the cottage door, "Do you want to drive home?" Amazing grace.

(As you may be able to tell from the photo above, the car (a 1984 Dodge Aries) used to be in as-new condition. My dad bought it the previous spring at less than wholesale cost from a family-friend in our apartment building. It was a present of sorts for my mom, who had recently gone back to high school, and even finished a community college degree in chiropody (non-surgical foot care). Just a few months before, she'd started her dream job at a nursing home, and finally had a nice commuting-car to drive. So much for me being an overly-responsible eldest child. And, to make matters more awkward and painful, Mom was on holidays visiting family in Austria when this all happened. I'm glad we waited to tell her until she got back.)

As you also may be able to tell from the photo above, Pete's side bore the brunt of the impact (the rear window behind his seat was shattered - I punched it out in fear and frustration).

Pete recovered at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto for several months, with many broken bones and other injuries along the right side of his body. He worked through extensive physio for months afterwards.

It wasn't easy to watch friends graduate from Toronto District Christian High School and embark on new adventures as they moved into places of their own, continued with studies at university, and so on. We completed our last year of school together the following year (1988-89) at a local public high school.

Thanks be to God, our friendship continued and grew stronger. Despite the difficulties of the physical and emotional recovery, we experienced all sorts of support and encouragement from our church family locally, provincially, even internationally. Taking two years to finish high school also provided many amazing new opportunities to learn, serve, and grow--locally, provincially, even internationally. Looking back, it is not much of a surprise that we are so involved in church leadership today.



As I look through the photos, I ask myself, "Who is this kid?"

Certainly not the same person who raised a glass of gratitude last weekend with Pete, his wife Joy, and son -- born guess when?? -- _September 13_ last year. Wow. Joseph, you will some day understand the term "redemptive moment" and the extra-delight your parents and I experience wishing you Happy Birthday.

I've spent 20 years looking back...processing...wondering. Some of you know the details, some of you don't. Some of you have gone through similar situations, and God answered your prayers in ways that you are probably still processing...wondering about...hurt by.

My prayers are with you.

PS: One of Pete's recent books, co-authored with Peter Slofstra, is Follow Me: Daily Readings for Disciples. "First and Second Peter" were also cyclists and co-chaplains for the "Sea to Sea with the CRC" bike tour across Canada in 2005.

Considering the seriousness of Pete's injuries, I am all the more grateful that he has been able to flourish in ministries of various kinds, "serious" and "comical" -- ask him some time about his cartoons!

(PPS: Fear not - those blue shorts are long gone...the striped socks too! I sure wish I could get my teenage metabolism back, though...)

My Facebook Friend Benita's "8 Random Things" list

Benita writes:

I was recently tagged by my buddy Doug to write 8 Random Things about Myself on Facebook, so here goes:

(The rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.)

Here are my "8 random things"...

1. I am working this summer for the first time with a research assistant, which has been very exciting. Even on days when I spend too much time cleaning my office or planning for courses in the fall (or writing lists of random things), work gets done on our project. How decadent!

2. I have a quite irrational and unconditional love for the city of Toronto, which has only grown since moving away to live in the mid-West of the US. I realize that Toronto is the object of resentment and scorn to many other Canadians (my prairie-born husband likes to refer to it affectionately as the "heart of darkness") but for me it is an example of all the best things a big city can offer: energy, vitality, diversity, multiculturalism, good food, thriving arts scene, public transit, involved neighbourhoods, etc etc.

3. I find it odd that when people see my pregnant body and I tell them that I am more than eight months pregnant, the usual response is "Oh, you look great - not very big at all." Aren't pregnant women supposed to be big? Plus which, I think the only reason my belly looks small is that I am very tall (5' 10.5"), so proportionally a baby does not look as big on me.

4. A new pet peeve of mine is that the world of baby commodities is so COMPLETELY gendered. It is incredibly difficult to find clothes especially that are not obviously marketed for girls or boys. Girls get pink, frills, hearts, flowers, and cute sayings, and boys get blue, sports icons and cars/trains/planes or farm machinery. Ugg!! Something about this is so disturbing - like we as a society are completely paranoid about having any ambiguity about gender around us. Perversely, this makes me want to dress my boy in pink and lace.

5. I was saddened to realize recently that only about half the classes of the CRC have accepted women in office. My (naive and uninformed) assumption had been that it was much higher.

6. My latest guilty TV-on-DVD pleasures have included the shows Bones and Veronica Mars. I find the anthropologist main character in Bones an unrealistic but entertaining mix of the scientific and cultural aspects of anthropology. I think I am hooked on Veronica Mars because of the mystery/puzzle-solving aspect of it.

7. When my husband and I were first dating years ago in Vancouver he would sometimes drop by unannounced to drop off flowers for me – usually orchids. I have since had a soft spot in my heart for these amazing flowers.

8. I recently heard and fell in love with Prince’s cover of Joni Mitchell’s “Case of You.” It’s on the newest Mitchell tribute album. It rivals k.d. lang’s amazing version of the same tune on Hymns of the 49th Parallel, although the two covers have very different vibes.

I hereby tag the following 8 new people to write their lists of "8 Random Things About Me" in a Facebook note (or blog if you have one):

Brad Cuzen
Angela Davidson
Christian Ocier
Erika Switzer
Karin DiBella
Andrea Vander Kooij
Karen Miller
Dana Hibbard

Doug's 8 Random Things

Say, this tag game is fun!

(The rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.)

Here are my "8 random things"...

1. I am totally hooked on Facebook.

2. I wonder if I am the only one who is irked when Christians post their astrological signs on their profiles (and/or when they activate the “Horoscopes” application on Facebook).

3. Like Meg Jenista, I too love Tim Hortons. I buy a "large half-decaf-half-cream-half-sugar" (i.e. almost black) coffee on my way to church just about every day. And, for a midafternoon break, I hike over for a green tea ("large, black, bag-in"). What I also love is that I can rationalize my addiction by paying for my purchases with gift certificates sold by the local Orillia Christian School!

4. Like Heidi De Jonge, I too notice things in threes – maybe because I was born on 3-3-69 (at 6:18 PM, even).

5. I am trying to decide if I am amused by (or annoyed at) music I hear at the YMCA - beatbox remixes of classic tunes such as Boston: More Than a Feeling(?!), U2: Pride (in the Name of Love)(??!!), and even The Price is Right theme(???!!!).

6. The first reading materials I ever perused were Canadian Tire flyers; my Mom would place me on her lap and ask me about the products and teach me letters and numbers. I became an employee of the same company some 20 years later, and have miniature replicas of their vintage delivery trucks all over my study (there’s a lot to more to Canadian Tire than tires, BTW).

7. Every once in a while I end my prayer with, “...and God, say hi to Mom for me.” (she passed away back in ’98) – I sometimes wonder if others say those kinds of things to/about loved ones who’ve passed away.

8. Last, but certainly NOT least, I am immensely proud of my wife Karen, who hopes to hand in the last draft of her School Psychology PhD dissertation next week (before our three-week trek to the east coast, including her home town of Churchill Falls, Labrador!).

I hereby tag:

Mary Hulst

(And, since she’s the only Blogger I know who hasn’t been tagged yet, I will also tag the following Facebook Friends and put their lists on my blog--with their permission, of course...)

Dan Brown
Stanley Groothof
Joy Johnston
Brian Kuyper
Karen Norris
Peter Schuurman
Julia Prins-Vanderveen

Bonuses (sorry...couldn't resist):
Benita Wolters-Fredlund,
Willemina Zwart

PS fellow tag-ees who have posted their lists include:

Amanda - http://www.amandagaile.blogspot.com/
Benita - on Facebook, and c/o my blog (see separate entry)
Betsy - http://betsyjoy.blogspot.com/
Emily - http://wilsons-on-warburton.blogspot.com/
Fiona - http://bakersgotoscotland.blogspot.com/
Heidi - http://www.watchedbygod.blogspot.com/
Karla - http://kwillett.blogspot.com/
Meg - http://megsoapbox.blogspot.com/
Meika - http://www.wandering-aramean.blogspot.com/

(OK, I'm definitely noticing an estrogen overload here...let's get going, men!)

“The Secret of a Healthy Dad”

In commemoration of Father’s Day, I’m wondering if these thoughts are interesting and helpful to you as a dad, or with thinking about family life in general...


“The Secret of a Healthy Dad” by Rick Ezell

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children" (Ephesians 6:4 TNIV).

Recently I read of a young man who received an unusual Christmas present. The young boy peeled back the layers of wrapping paper from the tiny box inside he found a small, hand-written note from his father. "Son," it read, "this year I will give you 365 hours, an hour every day after dinner."

"This simple present became the greatest gift I ever had in my life," explained the boy as an adult. "My dad not only kept his promise, but every year he renewed it. I am the result of his time." One hour after dinner is all it took to change this boy's life forever. One hour of leading, loving, and learning. It is such a simple idea, an obvious one.

Directing our children by making ourselves available provides a solid foundation and a cherished place to belong. Children who know they belong to a family and have a father that spends time with them have a decreased need to adopt the values and behaviours of others. As a result of that leadership, children are more resistant to peer pressure in the adolescent years, which reduces the risk of promiscuity, substance abuse, and suicide.

Time for our family is like oxygen to our bodies--there's a minimum necessary for survival. And it takes quantity as well as quality to develop warm and caring relationships. What can Dads do?

Pray about your priorities. Ask God to help you order your life according to his priorities. Corporations in this country and workaholic Dads need to be reminded about what our priorities should be. Should Christian Dads and employees abandon the search for excellence? Not at all. But we do need to get our priorities in order.

Think through your promotions. Often promotions come with a corresponding increase in workload and hours. Is it worth it?

Consider changing jobs. No job is worth sacrificing your spouse or children. No career is more important than your relationship with those you love.

Stop gift-wrapping the garbage. Or anything else that drives you to perfection and sacrifices valuable time with your family. As I was mowing my yard the other day, I thought, "Do I want to be remembered for having a beautiful lawn or having a wonderful family?"

Monitor your level of involvement in organized activities. Granted--sports, music, and educational programs are needed for our children to lead balanced lives. But there is a point of overkill and over involvement.

Commit to regular family times together. Schedule regular family nights or family outings. Guard those times as you would any other appointment.

Slow down and live. For many of us the pace of our lives is self-imposed. We do have a choice about what we do and the schedule we keep. A friend whose family was so infatuated with time that he could rarely enjoy a quiet moment of reflection said, "My Dad was an expert at hurrying. And he inflicted it on our family. We would hurry to go on vacation, hurry to enjoy it, and hurry to drive home, so we could hurry on to something else!"

The lack of time might be the most pervasive enemy the healthy family has. To be honest, I don't know many families that aren't over committed. To change that behaviour in my family is my responsibility as the father. Spending time together as a family is doing God's will. Time spent with our family is each family member's birthright-and for most they are starving for it.

When former Atlanta Braves' star outfield, Dale Murphy, was asked what contribution his dad made to his career he replied, "The great thing my dad provided me was himself."

Not a bad contribution, is it?

Source: Rick Ezell’s “One Minute Uplift” e-newsletter, June 14, 2007 ... www.rickezell.net

Wanna be my Facebook Friend?

See my info on Facebook!

See more blog-type stuff via the "My Web Page" link (on the left side of my "View my complete profile" page)